What Questions Should I Ask Before Divorce?

30 Questions to Ask Before Divorce: A Thoughtful Guide for Clarity 

Deciding to divorce is one of the most difficult choices you’ll ever face. It’s not just a legal decision, it’s emotional, practical, and deeply personal. If you’ve found yourself asking “Should I get a divorce?” or “How do I know if I should get a divorce,” you’re not alone. 

Before making any final decision, the most important step is reflection. To help you find clarity, we have created a powerful resource: 30 Questions to Ask Before Divorce, designed to help you slow down, process your feelings, and better understand what’s truly best for you, your spouse, and your family. 

This guide is especially helpful if you’re considering a divorce in Oklahoma, where legal and financial outcomes vary based on timing, cooperation, and preparation. As experienced Oklahoma City divorce lawyers, we’ve seen firsthand how asking the right questions can save marriages or make the divorce process far healthier and more intentional. 

The 30 Questions to Ask Before Divorce 

Retrospective Questions 

• Have I truly communicated that I’m unhappy? Have I made my concerns clear about the relationship?  
• Did my spouse and I share expectations on the roles we’d play in the relationship? 
• Were we under such severe stress that our relationship was strained to a breaking point? 
• Was the relationship a mistake or have we just run into trouble too challenging for our skill set? 
• Have we sought professional help? 
• Have we exhausted all possible options? 
• What were the best times in our relationship? 
• What conflicts did/didn’t we resolve? 
• How is our communication?  
• How do our styles compare and contrast? 

• What are our main issues?  
• Why are they important?  
• What is motivating us to divorce? 
• Do we still have feelings for one another?  
• Is this decision based on emotional reaction or true self-awareness?  
• Are my standards for marriage (and my spouse) unreasonable?  
• Have I looked at my role in our difficulties or made changes to my own behavior? 
• Have I listened too much to other people’s opinions/advice? 
• Are we able to regain trust if we choose to pursue reconciliation? 

• What is my biggest fear in ending the relationship?
• Would I really be happier without my partner?
• How would I avoid making the same mistake(s) in my next relationship?
• If there were a way to save the marriage, would I pursue it? What would that be?
• Is there anything my spouse can say, do or change to make me feel better about being in this marriage?
• What are the key reasons we want or don’t want to work things out?

• Am I prepared to handle the day-to-day details of living that my spouse took care of?
• Am I prepared for the financial stress following divorce?
• Are we able to act in a mature manner during and after divorce?
• How can the divorce be handled to minimize emotional distress on the children?
• Are we willing to create a new relationship as co-parents?
  

Ready for Clarity? Download the 30 Questions Before Divorce PDF 

If you're feeling unsure, overwhelmed, or stuck between staying and leaving, this guide is for you. 

Before making a life-changing decision, give yourself the space to reflect with intention. Our free 30 Questions Before Divorce guide helps you process your emotions, evaluate your relationship honestly, and choose your next step with confidence, not confusion. 

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If You’re Ready, We’re Here 

If you’ve worked through these questions and determined that divorce is the right next step, you don’t have to walk that path alone. Our experienced family law team in Oklahoma City is here to guide you through this transition with clarity and compassion. We offer a free 15-minute consultation, where we’ll listen to your story, explain your legal options in plain language, and help you understand exactly what comes next.